Hopeful dreams & reality catching up!

These weird dreams don’t fade away! Where Tathaya is alive in scenarios that never happened & clicking pictures together in places we’ve never been! However, reality catches up from somewhere in the corner of the head that he’s no more and that this isn’t real but that small hope that keeps waiting for reality to be a dream and dream to be the reality doesn’t stop. Does it?

Covid & Death!

Dealing with Death through Covid.

The worst part of dealing with death through covid is the part where I was isolated. I had no one to grieve along with, (I still don't) I didn't know what my family was going through, I couldn't hold someone and cry out while sharing what my grandpa meant to me. I was in a blank state. It's been a month and still, I'm not brave enough to even cry in front of my parents. I'm lonely, I miss my grandpa and I don't know what to do. He is the only grandpa I have and no one can even be half of what he is to me.

I love him, I miss him, I can't accept that he's gone. The hurt only gets worse as the days pass. 

Buried with barriers!

Thoughts after visiting Grandpa's grave for the first time. 

Me & Tathaya

 "You know, many authors have written about the love between grandparents & their grandchildren but nobody concluded it because of the kind of bond they share," Tathaya said. I never asked why but I know it now!  It's because there is no start or end to it. I don't remember how I met Tathaya, but I remember tathaya treating me as if the world revolved around me and that what we shared was unique to us. And now, I think he'll be sad and pout if I don't visit him often just like he did when I got busy! And till we meet again, the pause is only on my side.

I love you Grandpa. You will always be my Bangaru konda & you will never be replaced.